Fake Hair. Real Ideas. Complex thoughts. Str8 Talk

F*%k John Mayer Fajitas

2010-02-15T10:31:00.000-08:00

Let me start by saying I was onto this dude very early in his mainstream debut *before wonderland* and I dropped him after he picked up with Jennifer Anniston so in light of his recent events, I just want to further hammer home my reasons for losing interest in John's supremacist OSCAR MEYER...

At the TOWER meet and Greet in Philadelphia there was dandruff in your hair and it was obvious you didnt bathe prior to the event

In three events (two televised) following the TOWER meet and greet,you had on the same GREEN CARGO PANTS. They were the SAME, rips in the same places.

You don't 'own' your height. You shuffle and hump your shoulders. Man up, already

I never bought into your 'humble' swag. and the showboating you insist on doing at concerts and performances further supports the idea that you are not too humble

A big middle finger for dumping Jessica Simpson. As a fellow cancer *zodiac sign* I side with her and dont think she deserved your breakup schmooze. Also, she can do much better than you, lame nuts.

Dating Jennifer Anniston was mucho lame.

Your show at VA TECH,allbeit free, destroyed my desire to see anyone live ever again. Your set was too long, really corny and you do not rock. Dave Matthews, however, further proved why they are such masters at LIVE ART. Though I refuse to do any more concerts to chance that I will ever have to endure Mayer-esque macho music pseud0-humble pretentious guitar riffing AGAIN

Your breath smells like you lick astrays

You didnt respond when I called you out on Twitter. I outed you months ago. You were musing about how black girls were *catching your eye* or something to that effect however when I pointed out that you had never expressed public interest in any black girl, you didnt respond. Sure, it mightve missed your eye due to the thousands of tweets you must get but something tells me you didnt want to deal with the content and face the truth.

You said it right, WHITE SUPREMACIST D$%KHEAD~ Its not about justification from white boys on our beauty. Its about white dudes that want to be cool, laugh with us, interact briefly, all the while theyre just assholes that are just hanging with us because the 'cool crowd' hasnt shown him any love. Asshole move.

THAT IS ALL...

New Year Nuggets

2010-01-03T22:47:00.001-08:00

hmm. this is the time of the year when all friends and family and coworkers tell you of their resolutions. Of course if youre a good friend, or listener you nod, smile and give your attention as your ears are filled with plenty of declarations about weight loss, healthy eating regimes and timely arrivals to every meeting.

BS I'm tired of hearing

I wanna lose weight

What or who is stopping you? Even without the gym the streets are there everyday. Walk em. I walk my streets so much I'm sure some people think I'm homeless, when I'm dressed up in a cute workout-fit honks let me know they think I'm WORKING...

I want to find a man

start with bettering the relationship of your kids and their father(s) then you can worry about the extras

I'm not eating junk food anymore

Then what are you going to eat instead because all I see you eat are pork rinds, cheetohs and hershey bars?

Im gonna be better this year

What the hell does this mean? Who is making the decision on what 'BETTER' is?

Im going to help someone every week

Please start with me

PEOPLE ONLY NEED ONE RESOLUTION EVERY YEAR

STOP LYING

Signature SUB

2009-10-13T07:40:00.000-07:00

I can't take credit for this following classic rant but my copy and paste skills are on point so I figured I'd repost and also make this my signature! I get so tired of women whining about having kids and how hard it makes life. As though they were forced to procreate? Shut up already! Pursue and accomplish your dreams and stop whining about decisions you've made and the life you've chosen!!!

Thanks James for posting this..

oh Stacy... stop whining already. You wanted to be a mommy... enjoy it already... you wanted more life accessories and vacations than he could afford so obviously you need to help pay for them. You want to be respected and complimented... how is he supposed to do that when you triple in size. You expect emotional, financial, physical security, unconditional love, devotion, understanding, homes, cars, support, and be a dad.... what are you doing to make him wanna keep doing that? Stop whining and live the life you actively chose

MIAMI MIXED DRINKS

2009-09-06T00:24:00.000-07:00

Reasons why I know I'm here to stay...

A lovely blend of hood chic and luxe cultures

Bank of America is a neighborHOOD bank here (in all other places I've lived it was far out the way and 'strategically placed'
"you wanna open a account'
AN account?
"yeah *popping gum* uh account

Customer service is on the next level here. Apparently cashiers, waitresses and store managers are psychic. They tell you what you're ordering.
"You want chicken. It's no barbecue, change your order"

The WEATHER
some might say it's too hot but i love it. please spare me the jokes about how I must will really love HE!! then...I'm just a true African. I'm a Heat Freak.

Cops are EVERYWHERE. Seriously. Five squad cars randomly pulled up to my next door neighbor today and hauled someone out *When cops are in abundance, entertainment is cheap. Just pull up a seat on your porch or by the window.

FRIED CONCH. Nuff said!

Going swimming everyday. Not only does the weather call for it, there are pools on every corner.

Ladies actually wearing heels to the store. *after being in Charlotte for 2 years, I got out the habit of glamming up for the routine shopping trip. Miami has me back on my game though'

MY sis is only a few minutes away. She makes 3 square meals a day. She pampers me and occasionally will front a grocery bill.

Beautiful people. Coke bottle chics. Big booty cuteys (no homo) keeps me determined at the gym

THE DOLPHINS!
THE HEAT
THE MARLINS

*South FLORIDA SIRENS, mount up*

BITTER BERRIES

2009-07-24T09:34:00.000-07:00

I'm LEAVING QUEEN CITY...bye to these acts of lameness I've experienced while in the city

TO THE LADIES THAT GOT ME A GROUP BABYSHOWER GIFT OF A First Aid Kit from Target for $7....it's the thought that counts but it's the gift that blows...

To the lady that said she wanted to go out to eat but had to stick to places that had $10 entrees. Um, go to Wendys and call it a nite....

To the expression 'POP BUNS'... >?<

To the guy that was supposed to build a pool in our community but left the states only with a few months into the project....

To the BOBCATS and their 'ALMOST FAMOUS'ness selves

To the lady that said Charlotte was a LITTLE NEW YORK...>?<<

To the mom group that didn't want married women as members>>?<<

To the boys that called me a SNITCH BITCH (I didnt call the cops on yall 'hood party')

To the guy who referred to uncircumcised penis as 'UGLY D!@K' >>?<<

To the obese lady who said 'people are hating on me cause I'm married and own a salon' >?<

TO the company who signed on to publish my novel but I had to run down...

To the soccer moms/middle aged white women driving big beautiful trucks ( you know this is misleading)

Dudes rocking COOGI year & decade round........

BYE

NONSENSE NACHOS

2009-07-24T09:02:00.000-07:00

Stop playing...

Why is the clip of the two young white girls talking about what they will do to Gucci Mane so popular>?< WHAT I WOULD DO TO GUCCI MANE ISNT LEGAL IN MOST STATES

Because Erykah Badu has three kids by three different men she's a HOE? What does that make the girl with NO KIDS but has had 20 sexual partners or more>?<

Why is KELIS a BETCH because she is asking for financial support to raise her son>?< SO, LET ME GET THIS STRAIGHT, SHE SHOULD BE EXPECTED TO LIVE OFF OF LESS EVEN THOUGH SHE WILL BE CARING FOR AND IS RESPONSIBLE FOR MORE??

What makes people think that there are no white women who are gold diggers, groupies or money hungry baby mamas>?< WHO DO YOU THINK 'THE BOOK' WAS WRITTEN BY? i.e. I'M WITH THE BAND, YOU'LL NEVER MAKE LOVE IN THIS TOWN AGAIN, MADONNA BIOGRAPHY

Henry Louis Gates, JR (SKIP) the 'race scholar' is down with the swirl

Just two months ago all kinds of people were posting about Michael Jackson with jokes and snickers but now these same people have him as their profile pics and are telling others to stop posting negative comments>?<

MISSING MICHAEL-THE MENU-PICK A COUPLE OR A FEW

2009-07-17T22:23:00.000-07:00

What growing up in the age of MICHAEL JACKSON taught me

That GENIUS comes in many different packages

Changing WHAT you are will never change WHO YOU ARE

It's ok not to be NORMAL..NORMAL PEOPLE DONT POSSESS THE TALENT, SKILL AND DEPTH he did

MOONWALKING is a TURN ON!!

Not to care about someone's looks on the outside

To make amends with siblings even when you want to hold a grudge

To appreciate my childhood

Don't be afraid to be unconventional

Appreciate animals, they're GOD's gifts as well

Naomi Campbell got some moves

Dance like it's no tomorrow

Don't believe everything you read

There's always HOPE

No one is immortal but Art is TIMELESS

MISSING YOU...MILKSHAKES

2009-06-29T22:08:00.000-07:00

ooh, this is dedicated to, this is dedicated to, if you feeling how im feeling this is dedicated to you....

OH, also , you can miss someone who is still living as many of the people on this list are. I'm not one to take current status of LIFE for granted though...

Rosalyn..my mother, i miss you driving me around the city, asking me how the 'dance' was (IT WAS A NIGHTCLUB,BTW)

PHILLLLYYYY..where do I start; the air *tinged with the smell of garbage* Broad Street, Maos on second and south, running into the ROOTS, Beanie Sigel and others on any given night, good/bad chinese food

My SHARONA..sushi, rubberband coochie,I'm GOING TO WORK B!T@H (NAIVE-A DIVAS IN THE PLACE)

FAMU...not TALLAHASSEE, FAMU!! The set, the probate shows, Tucker Hall,ooowwweee. Yeah, I love college too, Asher

MY Rabbit Lisa, you were the only pet I needed but I still went and got others, just like my track record with men, i suppose?

Joy ST Remy, could always count on a random call from you or whenever I visited Orlando, you'd be looking great. Was hard to believe that someone so stylish and stunning was dying...

Nanny Nikki (MAYOR) your cooking was the best kept secret. who knew that the MAYOR of Daytona made the most succulent turkey wings,moist oyster dressing and sweetest cornbread?? WOW~

HOME. 1323 Cadillac Drive. Im missing you, my room, JORDAN Posters, sleeping in the biggest bed ever and the feeling that I was HOME

JOIN A GYM GYROS with a side of Jambalaya

2009-06-22T00:41:00.000-07:00

WHY?

Those jeans are not supposed to look like that. You know it (STOP PLAYING)

For $40 a month you can have a guaranteed place to bathe, tan and get fine? This is a great fallback plan just in case eviction or foreclosure is a realistic possibility

The better you look, the more justified you will be to talk about how your boyfriend/husband's/baby dad's current/ex companion is an out of shape, bad bodied lame or trollop

Your thighs arent supposed to rub together. That's why it doesnt feel good (it doesnt)

Jowls, muffintops, spare tires and love handles arent cute, hawt, sexy

Gym memberships cost a lot less than a tummy tuck

Fast food doesnt taste so good after you have sweated it out on the eliptical for 25 minutes

You want something to talk about besides how pretty your smile is or how nice your hair looks...

A sharp clavicle is the perfect accessory to any low cut top

Your friends are liars, though they love you, they're liars

BECAUSE WE'RE DYING TOO SOON FROM HEALTH RELATED ISSUES THAT CAN EASILY BE AVOIDED WITH A BETTER DIET PLAN AND WORKOUT REGIME!!

MUNCHIES

2009-06-10T21:02:00.000-07:00

ALBUMS THAT NEED TO BE DUSTED OFF & PUT BACK INTO YOUR ROTATION

BADUIZM <
400 DEGREES <>

THE EMANCIPATION OF MIMI <>

ENTER THE DRU <>

JODECI:FOREVER <>

CRAZYSEXYCOOL <>

WU TANG FOREVER <

SPICE WORLD <>

WHITNEY HOUSTON; Greatest Hits Vol1 & 2 <>

GOD's SON <>

WYCLEF JEAN THE CARNIVAL <>

AMERIE 'ALL I HAVE' <

BELLY SOUNDTRACK <
D'ANGELO VOODOO LOUNGE <>>

AFTERNOON NIBLETS

2009-05-30T10:20:00.000-07:00

THINGS CELEBS ARE AFRAID TO SAY....

Lady GAGA scares me

I don't care that Chris Brown beats ladies, his music is fun and he's fly

Diddy f%ck$ up careers

Karrine Steffans is gorgeous

I'm intrigued by Erykah Badu's poonanny powers

I really cant stand or understand SouljaBoy.

Keri Hilson is just a tad bit full of herself

Ciara dances like a stripper trying to pay the rent

Justin Timberlake smokes up all your green supply

There's nothing wrong with rocking Steve Madden Heels

I'll eat anything that's free

All the good genes in the world wont help like a hard workout and pushing away from the table will

Jonas Brothers, Obama girls? WHY???

Jamie Fox was soooo right when he went off on Miley Cyrus

Kobe Bryant did it

I don't care if OJ DID it

YOU OUGHTA KNOW NUGGETS....

2009-05-22T17:23:00.000-07:00

Just because a woman doesnt have ANY/MANY kids doesnt mean she hasnt been having ANY/MUCH sex with ANY/MANY BODY

hind sight is 20/20

If you want compliments on your hair, weight, clothes...cut off all your hair, gain 20lbs and start wearing only sweats. PEOPLE WILL FLOCK TO TELL YOU HOW NICE YOUR HAIR WAS, HOW SHAPELY YOUR FIGURE USED TO BE AND HOW FLY YOU USED TO DRESS

the accuser is often the guilty

Doing SOMETHING isnt doing EVERYTHING but it's better than doing NOTHING

Love may be blind but it isnt deaf dumb and broke

American IDOL and DWTS are officially SHAMS!!

People ask questions that they want to answer themselves

A persons whose life is filled with judgments of their fellow man, often suffers great disappointments at the hands of their family and friends

MIDNIGHT SNACK

2009-05-19T21:08:00.000-07:00

Artists I'm already laying out the outfit for when I interview them

TI
holla at me after your 2 months! Im gonna be 20 lbs lighter, too bad not 20 shades brighter
(TI likes em BRIGHT)

NAS
If I ruled the world I would've already interviewed him 20 times over

50 CENT
im looking forward to being bench pressed

LIL KIM
ooh, an artist im eye to eye with. Cant wait!

MOS DEF
hoping genius gene reaches me by osmosis...hmm...

J DUPRI
I respect his intellect and...whatever. Im trying to catch a glimpse of MS JACKSON (no homo)

LIL WAYNE
awww, he raps, so cute!

CHAMILLIONAIRE
have a feeling he's a complete gentleman and will pay for all my meals that day

CHRIS BROWN
imma kick him in the ball$ and run. PAYBACK IS A B!TCH, CHRIS BREEEZZZZZYY

MINI MUSIC MUFFINS

2009-05-19T20:57:00.000-07:00

I got a new job, sort of, blogging about local/underground music scene....following are people I would be MAD about if I had to interview them..

YOUNG JEEZY
yyeaaaahhh, thats riiigghhtt

RICK ROSS
the fake one, not the real one

BOBBY VALENTINO
I only want to see him when he's on stage with lil wayne singing 'weeooohheewweeeeooohhhwwee'

SOULJABOY
Take me now Lord!!!

EVE
not interested (no homo)

QTIP
I just wouldn't want to fall asleep on his softspoken self. Forgive. Forgive

WHAT's THE POINT PANINIS

2009-05-16T17:22:00.000-07:00

Of arguing about a topic you know nothing about?

Of attempting to elevate the mind of one who is perfectly content?

Of explaining Murphy's Law to someone who doesn't care to know who Murphy or his stupid laws are?

Of calling someone you didn't really want to talk to in the first place?

Of going out to a club when you don't drink, smoke or don't have casual sex?

Of cleaning up behind a 2 year old?

Of waking up before noon on the weekend?

Of getting your hair flat ironed, wrapped or pressed during the May-Aug Months?

Of biting your tongue?

Mid Afternoon Minis

2009-04-29T12:34:00.000-07:00

Just because something is possible, doesnt mean you WILL do it.

Their, Theyre and There are 3 different words. Define and use accordingly.

It is never a clasy move to go to a party and leave with more than you brought.

Competition is something I'm not interested in. Comparison is more my style.

What's the difference between flirting and sexual harassment; attraction level

Never try to sell what you know full well you wouldn't buy

Don't go to a restaurant you've never been to unless your wallet full and your credit card is empty.

Unless you have two genitalia (1 for love, 1 for casual sex) the whole ' i did it but i didnt love him/her so it doesnt count' argument is null and void (stupid)

Interesting how people who work in fast food know most about life but least about the world.

Live your life like you're building an alibi: speak to everyone, every where you go. Never Ever speak ill of anyone, no matter the situation and ALWAYS LOCK YOUR DOORS.

Want to meet intelligent people;spend an hour a day in the bookstore. Want to meet friendly people who want to have a good time; spend 3 hours a weekend in the club. Want to meet party people who think they're intelligent; go to church

My thoughts on people who want to talk about their kids all the time: either they have no life or their children aren't doing anything noteworthy, these people have nothing to talk about.

Perhaps racial stereotypes are just human traits.

Naughty music is best to dance to

Bite-Sized Bits Of Reality

2009-04-26T15:08:00.000-07:00

Chewing gum changes your personality.

Listening to Beyonce doesn't make you look any more like her.

After the age of 30, no one is strictly looking for a friend

Beauty is relative, just hope its related to you.

Saying 'no one is perfect' shouldn't mean you don't try to do better.

No matter the fresh fashion sense & innovative design ideas, a new home looks better than an older one.

Kids need parents, not friends.

Getting older doesn't necessarily mean you're getting wiser but it does definitely mean your days are numbered to make wiser decisions.

Just because it can be done doesn't mean it should be done.

You can afford, either with time or money, to double up on your exercise routine.

Cliche lines from movies only sound good when Tom Hanks, Denzel Washington or Halle Berry is saying them.

Lame people often don't realize the degree of their corniness.

Just because the outfit makes sense to you doesn't mean you have fashion sense.

Cheap wigs are for halloween costumes, not wearing to work, school or in society and acting as though everything is on point.

If you can't pronounce it, don't buy it.

ur daily dose of donts

2009-04-24T19:34:00.000-07:00

Don't compare yourself to a very fit & fine celeb then leave your myspace page in your signature unless you really are that fit & fine..

Don't tell your 2 year old she can do anything & everything on her birthday

Don't sleep til 2pm and think you're going to get everything accomplished in a day

Don't take kim kardashian too seriously.

Don't rule out the Hornets...yet

Don't tell your lawn man you'll pay double next time.

Don't go to bed with lame jockey drawyers on.

Don't hate on Susan Boyle

Don't lie to your doctor

Don't lie about how often you go to the gym.

Don't go to food lion at 6pm

Don't tell someone you don't want to visit that you'll fly to see them if they send you a ticket.

Don't give a hardcore rapper a fake cell #

Ooops

Random thoughts irresponsibly

2009-04-23T22:14:00.000-07:00

Ciara is a stripper with clothes on...sometimes

I like TI way too much, dude has no no love for short thick brown skinned ladies

Oprah was wrong for wearing blue sequined pants

Bad bodied chics do a lot of bragging and talking about the things they own instead of the bodies they have

I do not have a license

Jeezy knows how to mess up a R&B song. What the hell was that verse on 'Never Ever'

Nasty Song by Lil Ru is the J-A-M

Why does everybody want to freak a girl on her birthday all of a sudden? WTF?

I have vowed to never use LOL again in a text/email

Golden Corral in Conyers, GA is a good time on a Friday Night.

I hope big bootys never go out of style again

Posting up next to the thin white girl at the gym always makes me step it up a notch

Lil Kim is killing it on DWTS.

Anoop Desai didnt have any business being on AI this season or any season for that matter

Rick Ross needs to cut it out with that Versace and Tommy Bahama gear

Fabolous needs a mixtape.

I believe lil wayne when he says he's good in bed.